Are you a best kept secret?

When you’re a best kept secret in your business, industry or field it’s natural to feel small and not good enough.

The reality is you haven’t given people an opportunity to discover you.

Altering this reality, comes down to forging a path to visibility and influence. Taking those uncomfortable, yet hugely critical measures for people to learn about you.

What I observe, all too often, is that people are embarrassed or self-conscious to self-promote because of the meaning they ascribe to it that it’s pushy, sleezy, and vulnerable. They fear being criticized or rejected. When in actuality, self-promotion is vital to our growth and success when it’s done appropriately.

Here are 5 steps to slaying that secret:

1. Craft a Personal Philosophy:

It’s important to cultivate self-awareness and deep alignment with who you are – a few words or a phrase that expresses your beliefs, values and what you stand for.

You can do this by asking yourself a series of questions:

  • When I’m at my best, what beliefs are driving my thoughts and actions?
  • Who are people that exhibit characteristics and qualities that are in alignment with mine?
  • What are those qualities?
  • What are your favorite quotes? Your favorite words?

Once you’ve answered these questions, circle the most emotionally resonant words…those that stand out to you. Cross out the rest.

Come up with a phrase, sentence or pledge that reflects exactly who you are and how you want to live your life. Share it with a loved one, ask for input, and fine-tune your philosophy from there. Then commit it to memory and recite it daily.

Your greatness will be determined by the principles that guide you.

2. Beware of The Spotlight Effect:

This is a psychological phenomena that social psychologists refer to as the tendency we have to overestimate how much other people notice about us. In other words, we tend to think there is a spotlight on us at all times, highlighting all of our mistakes or flaws, for all the world to see.

We have an innate tendency to forget that although we are at the center of our own world, we are not at the center of everyone else’s.

Although this phenomena is common, remembering that most of it is nothing more than a creation of our own minds can alleviate our concerns around “putting ourselves out there”.

3. Courage Comes From Your Heart, Confidence Is In Your Pocket:

Elevating your visibility takes Courage and Confidence. Courage emanates from your heart. Confidence comes from your consistent practice.

You exhibit courage because something is important to you. There’s a meaning or purpose that propels you to act. This is what you identified in Step #1.

Confidence comes from consistent execution and acting on those things that are important to you.

From a practical perspective, you have a tool for building confidence right in your pocket, your smart phone. We’re living in an extraordinary time where this technology allows you to reach anyone, anywhere. Being strategically visible on Social Media platforms is a way to expand your reach, be seen, be heard and become part of communities that are valuable to you. So why not utilize this free media and publicity?

Take one small, doable step at a time, consistently, and this will activate your courage and diminish the “spotlight effect” as you go.

4. The #1 Regret of the Dying:

“I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”

As chronicled by Bronnie Ware, Palliative Care Specialist and the Author of the Internationally Bestselling Memoir The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, this was the most common regret of all to realize that dreams had not been honoured. In the face of death, the choices we had made or didn’t make were now the story of our life and our dreams had gone unfulfilled.

If you have a dream of building a thriving and meaningful business that aligns with your passions, values and purpose, then you owe it to yourself to get over your fears of and learn how to do it appropriately and effectively.

I know for me, the thought of ending in this place is far scarier to me than the thought of doing anything else.

5. Know That You Are Worthy!

Quote of the Week:

Take a stand for what you want, what you love, what you believe in and dare forward.

~ Noreen Howard



Founder & CEO

Noreen Howard International

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